Author Description

In their book, I Want to Tell You How I Feel, husband and wife psychologists, Deb Brock and Ron Johnson, provide a paradigm for understanding what may be the most important element of human psychology. They suggest that people's feelings can be understood, valued, and utilized in order to enliven them personally and enhance them interpersonally to such a degree that they can find true contentment, meaning, and satisfaction in life. They have dared to unpack the murky waters of "feelings" with precision without falling prey to simplistic ideas of feelings nor complex neurological assessment of feelings. The authors propose that if people grasp how they feel, they will subsequently grasp how other people feel, and in this interchange of feelings, they will profoundly enhance communication and ultimately relationships. Johnson and Brock propose a unique paradigm for understanding feelings by first suggesting that "feelings," while undefined, are the most basic experience and expression of one's core self, sometimes called soul or spirit. The authors immediately admit to the undefined nature of such words as feelings, core self, soul, or spirit but note that such elements of humanity can be understood and utilized just as the equally undefined words love, time, and distance are undefined. While undefined, feelings can be observed in their experience and expression which comes sequentially physically, emotionally, cognitively, and actively. Thus, an important concept that Johnson and Brock propose is that emotion is the second experience one has when experiencing or expressing feelings but not the entirety of one's feelings, and for many people not the most important. They suggest that some people are inclined to express or experience their feelings emotionally while others may be more inclined to physical manifestations, cognition, or activity in experience and expression of feelings. The authors suggest a commensurate four-part paradigm of personality