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Excerpt from Josh Billings' Farmer's Allminax for the Year of Our Lord 1874: Being the 98th Year Ov Amerikan Liberty, and Over 5 Thousand Years, (if I Dont Disremember Rong) Since Adam Did the Bizzness for Us, in the Gardin Ov Eden Zepheniah Billings waz a phiddler bi birth and pur swashun. Fhe also had another natral gift, and that waz tew owe everyboddy. Late in life he quit phiddling, and took up shuinaking but the world lost a good phidler hi the operashun, and got a kussid poor shumaker. Oh! 'tis ever thus. At his final deth he owed upwards ov 70 dollars, and hiz leavings konsisted ov one old phiddle, and a pint ov bass wood shupegs. He would travel on foot 7 miles tew a kuntry tavern, and phiddle all nite at a knutty bawl for 75 cents, and owe the landlord two dollars and a half nex morning for vittles and drink. Zeph' was an unprofitable man to know, for he couldn't tend an evening meeting, on sunday, without running into det to sumboddy. It waz sed ov him, that he waz never known tew shed a tear or pa a det. He died finally, and i presume he was saved; but he may hav bin lost, for accidents will happen in the uppermost familys. He had a cool bed, and a warm harte. Bless Zepheniah Billings, he was a ripe skollar on the phiddle, and could pla Tare her down Sal, and sich dear old sweet savoured things, klean up tew perfelr shun. He haz gone now, allass! Allass! But i am prepared tew say, in the language ov another, Bully for yu, Zepheniah 1 All esh iz grass. So iv'e bin told. Funny. Mutch. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in