Sem Van Dijk is a not-so-hardworking Momma's Boy who enjoys light snacks and Kanye West songs. When he becomes kidnapped by a gang of Vampires, Sem's life turns upside down in a matter of minutes. Cyr, the Grand Vampire of the Illusionists, quickly enlists Sem to join the questing business for him in order to find the roots and herbs necessary to make a special medicine, and Sem has no choice but to play along. He quickly discovers that life with the Vampires isn't as deadly as it's cracked up to be...but it's not entirely safe either. As Sem and his fanged companions, Anya and Lily-Rose, investigate a crooked anime convention scheme during their hunt for the Fliondeso Root, Sem realizes that danger is all around him. Can Sem learn to integrate within the Vampires and survive the quest, or will his broken body be returned to Cyr's doorstep with a Worker's Comp slip?