Author Description

As I grew into a teenager and young adult I was lost, drowning for a long time, the secrets I’d been keeping were swallowing me up. There were people around me, watching mostly, every now and then one of them would throw me a life jacket, but as hard as I could I never seemed able to hold on for very long. My fingers would graze it, every once in a while I’d be able to grasp firmly with one hand, but the current was so strong I always inevitably let go. Secrets can make or break your life. They can eat away at you, a little at a time, they can change the way you view the world, they can consume every thought to the point where you lose yourself in them. That’s what happened to me. The secrets I held clung to me, caused me to change who I was…Over time I was a shell, able to appear beautiful and smooth on the outside but virtually dying on the inside until a time came where the decay began to take over on the outside as well. Once that happened I became a different kind of lost. The kind where now everyone notices and is searching for you. You know who you truly are is still there, just no one can see it any longer. Time passes, some say time heals all things, that may be true, but it was more than time that saved me. Eating Disorders, Self Harm, Depression, CPTSD, Anxiety, almost claimed my life, but now I am claiming it back!