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It took you a long time to realise that the abuse was not your fault. You were a child at the time, and you didn't know any better. You couldn't have prevented it. But you're still struggling years later. You are troubled by the memories and the thought that someone could have done this to you. You are troubled by the thought that someone could have betrayed your trust in such a way. It's difficult, but you're persevering. You're looking for help and attempting to move on. It will not be easy, but you can do it. You are not by yourself.