Author Description

Good people always die young. I am not sure why this is; maybe so that they live on forever young. A very strict religious background did not prepare me for so many things. I lived for many years not caring to be a Christian because it brought me nothing but pain. I was totally honest, open and truthful. Many line managers used this to almost destroy me in my many roles in the National Health Service. I hide behind many faces and I have hidden in a half white and half black Church of England Church but I miss the spirituality of my Black majority church and the connectiveness we had. I believed that all people are good and so my trusting disposition brought more pain than one could bear and I learnt many lessons. In terms of relationships, I believe if you have a partner who is not true to you, you should leave them or let them leave you. If you can keep in touch and learn to be friends but not enemies if you have children this would be good. You should love your partner conditionally and your children unconditionally. Turning fifty is a landmark in my life and I will now live like never before. Being a Black British African Caribbean person is a journey in itself. After fifty years I am just about to be the real person I am and for my children's sake this story must be told. They did not get to know grand parents on either side. My husband's parents died young. Gaston's mother from a stroke and his father died alone after going into a diabetic coma. My mother you will have to read, my father died an old man with a replacement family in the house my mother died in. Tragedy can destroy a family or bring them together, you can judge if that is the case.