Author Description

Where do I begin? Do I start with the UFO, the nine-foot-tall figment of my imagination, or my talking dog? Really, it doesn't matter where I start because my story is absolute insanity and you're invited along for the trip. I can't tell you it's a good story, but I can tell you it's a story unlike anything you've experienced before and if that's not reason enough to drop some of your hard earned cash into my wallet, then maybe I can convince you with pie. Yes - pie. The most wonderful food ever invented. In all honesty, I'm completely mad --- a full blown hatter of the highest order --- but if you're tired of boring vampire love stories, weird political allegories, and rehashes of the hero's journey, maybe you should take a chance on my story. Worst case scenario is it'll bore you into a coma, but some people pay good money to shut their brains off like that. So what are you waiting for? A sale? Come on, I'm already practically giving this one away. I promise you this book isn't a waste of ink, the souls of dead trees, or your time. What I can't promise you is that when you're done with my story you won't be a little mad yourself.