Author Description

What you are about to read is an alternative view of the world written from the perspective of someone who has spiraled out of controlled, and essentially lost all hope in life, love, happiness, virtue, self-redemption or any other redeeming aspect of the known universe. This world view stems from years of sliding down the downward spiral of disappointment, followed by vice, followed by disappointment, followed by more vice. Vice comes in the form of drugs, alcohol, sex, overeating, over-working, or one of any variety of indulgences and tomfoolery. Something weird happens to the survival instinct when it encounters utter failure. If one determines that he does not have what it takes to mount a comeback, and if you have created so much pain in the lives of others that no one will toss you a rope, then the survival instinct will turn to either suicide or fantasy. This is about fantasy. Maybe that word surprises you, because fantasies should have happy endings, right? Not necessarily. Fantasy is really "the power or process of creating especially unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to psychological need." And it is in that sense that this book is about fantasy: especially unrealistic mental imaginations about how the world works, in response to the psychological need to not drop dead of a panic attack. These pages are written from a guy's perspective (and for the women, just flip the pronouns, it's all the same in many cases). It's about what happens when you run out of options and you need to make sense in a world where you don't kill yourself, and you also don't see your way back to civilization. At some point, your reality, the one in which you can survive and find meaning, becomes the only honest reality available and tolerable, and you are the only one who matters because you're the only one who truly gets it, and everyone else is weak-minded and brainwashed. If this idea doesn't make sense to you, then you're reading it because you know it makes s