Author Description

For fans of Ann Liang and Zoulfa Katouh comes a heart-wrenching YA about finding yourself after losing everything that once defined you. Valedictorian and Ivy League-bound, eighteen-year-old Hayat Amanullah seemed to have it all—until her oldest brother died in a car crash. Since then, the tight-knit Amanullah family has crumbled; now her mom never leaves her room, her dad buries himself in work, and her middle brother Ihsaan—once the carefree jokester—is withdrawn as he battles his own demons. Seeking comfort in her new role of caretaker, Hayat grows closer to her best friend’s brother, Rameez Khan, whose attention offers her a temporary but troubling escape from the weight of loneliness and responsibilities. Further complicating her emotional turmoil is the inexplicable connection she feels towards her late brother’s best friend, Mikaal Zaman, whose kindness and shared grief draw her in deeper. As Hayat struggles with loss and identity, her strained bond with Ihsaan begins to shift—gradually but meaningfully. And when picking up the pieces of her family is no longer enough to outrun her own grief, she’s forced to confront the one question she’s been avoiding all along: who is Hayat Amanullah after losing the version of herself that died with her brother?