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What to do if Matthew, your secret lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie and their two daughters and move into your flat, just when you're thinking that you might not want him anymore... PLAN A: Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line. Tell him you have a moustache that you wax every six weeks. Stop having sex with him. Pick holes in the way he dresses. Don't brush your teeth. Or your hair. Or pluck out the stray hag-whisker that grows out of your chin. Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around. PLAN B: Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie. Give yourself a fake name and identity. Befriend Sophie. Actually begin to really like Sophie. Snog Matthew's son (who's the same age as you by the way. You're not a paedophile). Buy a cat and give it a fake name and identity. Befriend Matthew's children. Unsuccessfully. Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong. *Getting Rid of Matthew* isn't as easy as it seems, but along the way Helen will forge an unlikely friendship, find real love and realize that nothing ever goes exactly to plan...
Helen finds herself in a precarious position when her long-term secret lover, Matthew, unexpectedly leaves his family to move in with her just as her affection for him begins to wane. Helen must navigate the suffocating reality of a man she no longer desires invading her personal space, leading her to concoct increasingly absurd and desperate strategies to drive him away. The narrative, delivered in a candid and self-deprecating first-person voice, tracks her descent into chaotic social engineering as she attempts to sabotage her own relationship. Her efforts are constantly thwarted by the unpredictable nature of human connection and the unintended consequences of her own deception.
This novel is characterized by its sharp, observational humor and its willingness to place a flawed protagonist in deeply uncomfortable situations. The narrative structure relies on the absurdity of Helen's schemes, which serve to highlight the protagonist's internal conflict regarding her past choices. The genre conventions suggest a focus on the messy, often unglamorous reality of romantic entanglements rather than idealized scenarios. Readers likely engage with the work for its witty tone and the relatable, if extreme, exploration of wanting to escape a commitment that has lost its luster.
Page Count:
416
Publication Date:
2007-02-06
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
ISBN-10:
0006481205
ISBN-13:
9780006481201