John Cornwell investigates the formative tension between his turbulent, impoverished upbringing in post-war London and the rigid, ritualistic structure of the Catholic seminary he entered as a young adolescent. The author, a journalist and academic, utilizes his own history to examine how the allure of religious order provided a sanctuary from domestic chaos while simultaneously imposing a psychological burden that eventually forced a confrontation with his own identity and future. By documenting his transition from a troubled youth to a seminary student, Cornwell explores the intersection of faith, institutional authority, and the search for personal autonomy.

This memoir is regarded as a candid and introspective look at the complexities of religious vocation and the lasting influence of childhood environments. The narrative provides a dense, reflective analysis of the author's development, offering readers a clear-eyed perspective on the intersection of personal struggle and institutional faith.